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July 21, 2011

The Checklist

30 things to get done in prep for Van Film School:

1.       Assess personal finances (can we afford it?)
2.       Determine whether 2011 or 2012 works better
3.       Talk to the kids, make sure they’ll be okay with it
4.       Ensure their mom will be okay with it (staying with her while we’re gone)
5.       Build a “Plan A”, “B”, and “C”
6.       Put aside some money (2-3 month cushion)
7.       Apply for & get accepted to VFS
8.       Apply for & get scholarship
9.       Apply for & get student loan
10.   Apply for every other bursary, scholarship, grant or funding we can find
11.   Find & apply for housing
12.   Confirm housing (first month’s rent + deposit)
13.   Mel – Find work
14.   Give notice – Work
15.   Give notice – Landlord
16.   Give notice – Kids
17.   Secure moving truck
18.   Secure movers (move-out, move-in)
19.   House – Pack
20.   House – Clean
21.   Notify billers, cancel utilities
22.   Address change > Canada Post, family, friends, billers, etc
23.   Utility deposits on new home
24.   Find out re: B.C. car insurance & medical
25.   Finalize any legal paperwork
26.   Wrap up medical appointments before current health benefits run out
27.   Sell my car
28.   Sell/give away everything we can’t bring
29.   Say our goodbyes (kids, family, friends, work)
30. Write a list of all the reasons we’re doing this so we don’t lose heart (or our minds!) later

July 20, 2011

The Yay-Sayers Speak Up

How important is having someone in your corner?
While it's essential to have the courage of your convictions and know for yourself that what you're going after is worth it without anyone else's say-so, it's always nice to get a boost from the people you care about. 
Here are some of the wonderful voices that have put wind in our sails as we prepare for school. . .

Great stuff!
Break a leg!"

 “Best of luck with your move!  I’m so excited for you! Keep me posted. J
“Good luck on the new adventure Paul. Change is good!
“Yay dude....I knew this day would come!
Wish you all the success a person could have!!!
Congratulations Paul!! All the best to you!!
 “Take the bull by the horns...good on you too, and good luck!”
“I love it Paul, and looking forward to meeting Melissa. So happy for you!”
This is tremendous! I'm so happy for/ proud of you!
Hey Paul, I am so happy that you are following your dreams!!! Congrats and best wishes to you!!!
That is so perfect!! Congrats and wish you the best Paul!!!! Miss you!!
“Paul, you will be truly missed.  You are remarkable at writing and will no doubt blow everyone away by the sheer talent you possess at Vancouver Film School.”
“Best of Luck Paul! It’s great to see someone with the courage to chase their dreams. Best wishes for your success.
"You will both be sorely missed!  I wish you both much happiness in your future."

"I am really happy to see that you are following your dream. You have so much potential in this area and I know you will have success.   I wish I had such a clear view of what I want to do with my life. I have been really struggling with it to be honest with you. I too feel the immense power behind a well told story, and part of me is wondering if I should not pursue a career in the Television/Movie industry myself.”
“Well I wish you the best of luck in your future efforts.  Sounds like you are returning to your area of passion and I am sure it is a very exciting time for you.  Good luck and best wishes.”
“All the best pal. When you walk the red carpet in a few years, don't forget us!”
Paul, I hope that you are not in the puppet program as their funding just got cut from the VFB , as the last semester students produced a banned lock-dance compilation depicting a nude Finnigan. I hope this helps you out cheers and good luck!
”All the best in your new career, I'll be watching for you on the Oscars one day.”
”The very best to you both! I know you will succeed, no time to second guess that would be counterproductive so giv ‘er! Show ‘em how it’s done! ”
I wanted to tell you before how great it is that you are following your dream!
”Good Luck in your new career and adventures. ”
This will help me get a nudge into the world of blogs and figure out how to subscribe and comment and stuff, ignoramus that i am. So, Spielberg never responded. He shat on your dreams. Well, you'll show him! I am happy you have found the time and the drive to make a huge change. It will jump you into hyperspace.
That's really amazing Paul!! I'm so excited and happy for you to follow your dream. It's never too late, is it. :) YAY!! :D
I'm speechless reading this Paul . . . surprised, yes, but blown away by your courage to follow your dream! I know Mel will be at your side all the way and I can only wish you success and happiness in every step of the way. Love and my prayers for a wonderful future are sent to you both.
I'm thrilled for you and your new adventure! I agree with the kiddies and Mel, start as you mean to go on. You are not only going to chase that dream, but catch it! All the best! Xo
"I wish you all the best in your future.  It takes the kind of courage that most people don't even know exists to pursue your dreams.  I admire your drive to follow your passion.  Good luck in Vancouver.  I know you'll be successful and you guys will have a blast!"

"WOW!!! What a story, I've seen part of it and I wish you all the best in the continuation Paul and Mel!

"Well, as one who has missed you for a long time and hasn't lived near you for about 20 years, i say YYYYAAAAAAYYYY!!! I am looking forward to seeing both of you way more. Awesome times ahead!

July 6, 2011

My Big Fat Reading List (Summer 2011)

Currently Reading:

Film/Writing:

Making Movies - Sydney Lumet
A memoir-ish walkthrough of the various stages of film production, heavily laced with anecdotes from Lumet's filmmaking experiences.  Easy to read, honest, insanely practical and deeply personal.

Screenplay - Syd Field
One leading theorist's breakdown of how to construct a story from start to finish.  Represents one of several prevailing approaches, but a great starting point. (For fun, see Chris Huntley's "A Comparison of Seven Story Paradigms", in which he juxtaposes the story models of Field, Vogler, McKee, Linda Seger, and John Truby with his own ‘Dramatica’.) Side note: I was recently cautioned by Michael Baser against getting too enamored of those who teach but don’t write.  Point taken, but will let Mr. Field keep the floor till he's done.

Dreaming in the Rain - David Spaner
A history of Vancouver’s evolution into Hollywood North.  Just starting.  A bit dry so far, but hopefully it will pick up.

Fiction

The Confession - John Grisham
A man on death row for murdering a teenage girl a decade earlier has maintained his innocence all along, and his lawyer must beat the clock to save his client.  Can you say “The Chamber”?  Not his best, but not his worst either.  A good e-read whilst treadmilling.

Freedom - Jonathan Franzen
Just starting.  Loved The Corrections and heard this one’s better. Johnny, don’t fail me now!

Other

Too Big To Fail - Andrew Sorkin
A play-by-play account of events leading to the global financial disaster of 2008-10. Hands-down the most compelling non-fiction I’ve read in years. A richly-detailed political/economic expose that reads like a Shakespearian tragedy.

You: The Owner's Manual - Roizen & Oz
Undeniably, the mother of all how-tos on the subject of health and fitness.  Sassy, practical, and doing wonders for my bowels.
___________

Recently Finished:


Film/Writing:

Story - Robert McKee
Like Field’s “Screenplay”, a textbook-style exploration of screenwriting that borders on spiritual journey, made famous by Charlie Kaufman’s Adaptation, and McKee’s own perennial travelling workshop. My copy has been thoroughly defiled by all manner of pen and highlighter, and is still in once piece thanks only to scotch tape and sticky notes.  

The Writer's Journey - Christopher Vogler
Rooted religiously in the Hero’s Journey model of Joseph Campbell, I found this book by accident.  A bit choppy and disconnected, but hugely insightful and easier to apply than McKee’s Story, especially with respect to characterization and plot design.   

Al Pacino - Lawrence Grobel
You can never get enough Al, especially when he’s this funny.  A catalogue of intimate interviews spanning nearly four decades.  Always insightful to enter a giant’s thought process at multiple stages in his career.  

Fiction:

The Millenium Series (Stieg Larsson)
The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo had me at hello.  I started the series pre-hype and with no idea what it was about.  Ignore those who say the first hundred pages are boring, that’s pure drivel.  My heart hasn’t raced like this since I met my wife.

The Corrections - Jonathan Franzen
Only Franzen could keep me spellbound in a three-page description of breakfast.  No one skips through space and time as deftly as this guy, except maybe Audrey Niffenegger (Time Traveler’s Wife).  The research alone required to write a book this big and broad and borderline prophetic should normally take two or three lifetimes I would think, so my guess is that Franzen is either an alien or the Son of God.

July 5, 2011

The Cost of Not Answering Your Heart

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards.
They try to have more things, or more money,
in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse.
You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do,
in order to have what you want.
- Margaret Young


I’m funny sometimes.  By funny, I don’t mean “hilarious”, “witty” or even “generally entertaining”, but rather “mildly pathetic”.  Where does this self-judgment come from?  From an observation I’ve made over the years that goes something like this: I think I really want something, then when I get it, I discover it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and I don’t want it anymore.  I know, I know.  In this regard, I’m like everybody else, which I suppose makes us all mildly pathetic at times.  But in a good way, since that’s apparently how we learn anything at all about the way life works.  Now I’m judging you.  Bear with me.

Though never a money-chaser, and deeply committed to doing some good in the world regardless of what that meant for me economically, I always suspected that a decent paycheque (or perhaps even a really, really good paycheque) would, to some degree, fill the void left by not having pursued what I wanted to do when I was a kid (i.e. make music or movies, whichever came first).  For years, I did what was good for my heart but not so good for my wallet, allowing myself to slip slowly into the belief that achieving both happiness and financial security was neither possible nor particularly important. 

Then, just like that, I discovered I’d hoodwinked myself. After years of struggling, I suddenly had a job that was personally satisfying and paid well.  Who knew?  In a field completely unrelated to my real passion, mind you, but for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t worrying on a daily basis about being able to pay my bills.  I could take care of my kids and still go out for supper wherever I wanted, buy the clothes I wanted, go to concerts I’d always ached to see, take vacations I’d always dreamt about.  It was like finally walking out of the desert into a seemingly boundless oasis.  Anyone who’s been there knows what I’m talking about.  I don’t care how much you can make do with Kraft dinner, there’s nothing like the occasional filet mignon to put a little colour in your life.

But eventually, after a prolonged soak in the hot tub of a “good life”, that cool, refreshing pool in the distance called “The Life You Should Be Living” begins to beckon.  And you can only avoid it for so long before your skins begins to shrivel and bake. 

Felix Dennis, one of Britain’s most successful entrepreneurs and founder of Maxim, speaks often of the tyranny of a regular paycheque, comparing it to a cocaine addiction.  It’s the old frog in the pot idea (turn the heat up slowly enough and he won’t budge till it’s too late), just way more specific.  There’s a lot to be said for being financially responsible, making sure your children are taken care of, and preparing for you future. And there's no denying that a good, steady paycheque (however it comes) can go a long way toward helping achieve that. 

But how exactly does one measure the value of following (or not following) his or her bliss? 

As I’ve struggled with whether to take the leap and finally go after my dream to make movies, the naysayers have abounded.  “You’re too old.  You’ve got kids.  You’ve got a great job.  You make good money with benefits, RRSPs, advancement opportunities. And what if it doesn’t work out?  What’s that you say, following your dreams?  Come on, Paul, that’s a bit flaky, isn’t it? At your age?”  Luckily, unlike when I was nineteen and gave too much ear to such criticisms, I no longer give a shit.  That’s the pleasure and the privilege of being “my age”. 

And as I’ve discovered, the real question is never, “What is the cost of following my dreams”, but rather, “What is the cost of not doing so?” At some point, it’s neither selfish nor irresponsible to dedicate yourself to what you were always meant to do.  Rather, it's a matter of integrity and survival.  Interesting thing, by the way, about the naysayers: they’re usually 20- or 30-somethings who have little real-life experience, relatively small ambition, surprisingly limited imagination, or who simply have not yet reached that point of now-or-never desperation that drives ordinary people to do extraordinary things.  Having not yet fully coalesced a passionate, burn-the-bridges-behind-you vision of their own, they feel strangely compelled to advise others on matters with which they have little experience, all the while masquerading as the “voice of reason”.  I don't blame them.  I just don't listen to them. 

Having said that, it's important to recognize that naysayers do serve an important function.  They force us to examine our plans from an outsider’s point of view. “Am I doing the right thing?  Have I thought this through properly?  Is this the right time?” Sometimes naysayers have a point, so long as we recognize that their opinions are just that: opinions - often uninformed, uninspired, uninvested.  

Naysayers also help us identify how truly committed we are, how much we actually believe in that thing we keep saying is so important to us.  They bring us squarely into the “no bullshit” zone, compelling us to be brutally honest with ourselves above all.  My observation is that this often seals it for people.  If we know we’re right and are confident about that, we tend to be relatively bullet-proof to pessimism.  If certainty or confidence are lacking, we’re more likely to crack.

Finally, naysayers force us to consider worst-case scenarios which (as long as they don’t overwhelm us) tend to echo our own fears, play themselves out in our minds, then ricochet us back to a place of determination that is stronger for the exercise.  Whiplash never hurt so good.

Of course, there are also the “yay-sayers” who, thankfully, tend to show up in greater abundance.  They’re usually older and possess more blood-and-sweat experience in actually following (or not following) their dreams.  They’ve been there.  They’ve lived with the consequences of their actions or lack thereof.  Which tends to make their input more real-world, and ultimately more helpful. They are often family members and close friends, business colleagues or complete strangers, generally willing to provide honest opinions that reflect a nice mix of cold, hard reality and warm, hopeful optimism. 

It’s especially meaningful when the yay-sayer is someone like Randy Becker, a senior vice president of the company I currently work for who has achieved a substantial level of success (financial and otherwise) yet still harbors a wish that he had pursued the dream he cherished earlier in life, and who I count as one of my genuine supporters.  When I asked my sixty-four year old father what he thought, his response ran along similar lines:  “Even if nothing comes of it, for the rest of your life you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you gave it an honest shot!”  Money can’t buy that kind of yay-saying.

There’s no way around it: the cost of following a dream, big as it seems at the time, is miniscule compared to the cost of not following it.  It’s just a matter of hitting that point in life where the whispers of frustration, disappointment, and desperation become such loud voices that ignoring them becomes an impossibility without performing some kind of bizarre auto-lobotomy of the soul.  Once you get there, it's time for the party you've been waiting years for to begin.

But it’s still up to you to light the candles.